(Note: I am now married. This was somehow put aside during the dating game).<\/p>\n
E told the girls (ages 10 and 14) that we are getting married. I was in hiding at a hair salon getting my hair colored, high-lighted and cut. That was planned. I needed it, anyway.<\/p>\n
The older one, we will refer to as S, said, \u201cThat\u2019s Awesome!\u201d
\nThe younger one, we will refer to as M, said, \u201cDoes this mean we get to keep Mo?\u201d Mozart is my dog. That was easy enough. I was expecting tears and fits.<\/p>\n
You know, kids say the darndest things. I remember the first time I stayed here at E\u2019s house, or \u201cour\u201d house now that I am officially an insurance beneficiary. Before the visit, I asked how many bedrooms there were. I hadn\u2019t even met the girls.
\n\u201cThree,\u201d E said.
\n\u201cHuh,\u201d I said, doing the math. \u201cI will sleep on the couch, then.\u201d
\n\u201cNo,\u201d E said. \u201cThey won\u2019t notice.\u201d
\n\u201cYou\u2019re out of your mind,\u201d I said. Boys just don\u2019t get it.<\/p>\n
I was sitting on the couch when I heard the car pull up. When the girls walked into the house, I got the sideways glance from M. I know that glance. I should note that it was not the \u201csideways bitch glance,\u201d but the \u201cI\u2019m checking you out glance.\u201d She walked straight down the stairs not realizing I could see no white in her eyes from the right side, only large pupils highlighted in bright blue. I know what kids at that age think: She\u2019s pretty. She\u2019s cool. I wonder if she likes dogs. I wonder if she will give me candy and a dog. (Six months later, I give her anything she asks for\u2013except cats because I hate cats\u2013and trips to Golden Corral because it tastes like shit). She always asks for stuff when her dad isn\u2019t around. Smart kid. Anyway, I veered off track, here.<\/p>\n
We watched a movie. A cartoon movie with some green dudes running around doing something I slept through. I remember they looked like Sponge Bobs, only green. I hate animated shit. I hate movies in general. After the flick, E told the girls that it was time to go to bed. They\u2019re military children so they obey. They\u2019re also airline children so they are model children.<\/p>\n
M\u2019s feet hit the third stare going down into her basement bedroom before she paused. A brief sideways glance followed by a curt, \u201cAnd, where are you sleeping?\u201d She had done the math. I gave E the \u201csee, I told you so\u201d glance.
\n\u201cRight here,\u201d I said. I thumped my hand on the couch and curled my binkie to my chest. With that, she continued on her way as if that was an acceptable non-prepared answer.<\/p>\n
It was the only night I slept on that couch, having been convinced that the children slept long and hard and until we drug them out of bed for lunch.<\/p>\n
Six months pass. I thought they knew. E and I bought new furniture and were selling the old. An old mattress was stacked against the panneled living room wall. The girls decide it\u2019s the perfect opportunity for a slumber party.<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Beth!\u201d M says. She\u2019s got her sleeping bag and pillow and Mo all piled up on the mattress. He even looks at me sideways now like, \u201cis this okay that I\u2019ve chosen the kid with the beef jerkey habit over you?\u201d glance. Traitor.
\n\u201cYes?\u201d I say.
\n\u201cWant to sleep on the mattress with us?\u201d She\u2019s excited. She\u2019s serious. I\u2019ve just been invited to the slumber party. I\u2019m flattered. I feel like the popular girl.
\nI\u2019m unable to respond. I have no retort. Do I sleep there to make friends\u2013to be one of the cool kids? I look to E.
\n\u201cNo, M. She\u2019s not going to sleep on the mattress with you.\u201d He\u2019s only passing by.
\n\u201cWell. It\u2019s got to be better than the couch,\u201d she says to E. She says it like there\u2019s no other alternative, like he isn\u2019t being fair to me, like he\u2019s been forcing me to sleep on the couch. She\u2019s giving him the sideways bitch glance. I\u2019m giving him the startled \u201cI can\u2019t believe this is happening\u201d glance.<\/p>\n
The realization has hit us both. She thinks I\u2019ve been on the couch all along. We laugh, but get it under control quickly. The mind of a nine-year-old. Now I know that I can tell her all the same shit my dad has told me for thirty-nine years. Awesome.<\/p>\n
When I was six or so, I woke up too early on Easter morning. My dad was still hiding the eggs in the back yard. The slugs had not even found them yet. I ran past my mother into the yard. She didn\u2019t move as I busted past her out the patio door. My dad was standing in the middle of the yard with the \u201cOh, shit. How will I explain this\u201d glance. He didn\u2019t have too. I never questioned if there was an Easter Bunny. I dropped my arms and began screaming, \u201cMomma! Daddy\u2019s finding all my eggs!\u201d With that, he began picking up the ones recently hidden. The competition was on.<\/p>\n
My turn!<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, S?\u201d I say.
\n\u201cYes?\u201d she says.
\n\u201cWould it be okay if I slept in your bed tonight? That way, y\u2019all can stay up and watch movies.\u201d
\n\u201cSure,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
They go to the movie shelves. M retrieves one of my bootlegs from Peru. \u201cDo these movies from Lima work?\u201d she says.
\n\u201cUsually, they do,\u201d I say.
\n\u201cBee Movie didn\u2019t,\u201d she says.
\n\u201cWell, test one then,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n
She inserts the DVD into the player and turns it on. Within a few seconds, a head darts by on the camera. The movie is in Spanish. Fail.<\/p>\n
Sideways bitch glance followed by \u201cMadagascar.\u201d I don\u2019t think I will be invited to another slumber party.<\/p>\n
(Note: I am now married. This was somehow put aside during the dating game). E told the girls (ages 10 and 14) that we are getting married. I was in hiding at a hair salon getting my hair colored, high-lighted and cut. That was planned. I needed it, anyway. The older one, we will refer […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-349","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingaroundtheworld.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/349","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingaroundtheworld.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingaroundtheworld.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingaroundtheworld.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingaroundtheworld.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=349"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/writingaroundtheworld.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/349\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":350,"href":"https:\/\/writingaroundtheworld.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/349\/revisions\/350"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/writingaroundtheworld.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=349"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingaroundtheworld.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=349"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/writingaroundtheworld.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=349"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}